The Saint Joel Hodgson Church of MST3K

A place to meet and enjoy the love that Saint Joel Hodgson and his offspring, Mystery Science Theater 3000, have brought to all of us personally. Bring your friends. Come for the eternal damnation, stay for the pie.

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Location: Graceville, Minnesota, United States

I am the founder of the Saint Joel Hodgson Church of MST3K. It is totally my own creation and does not represent the views of Joel Hodgson, Best Brains Incorporated, or anyone involved with the show in any way. We are NOT a cult. There are no loyalty oaths, secret handshakes, or virgin blood sacrifices. At NO time will I EVER ask ANY of you for money. Tape traders are more than welcome.

Friday, December 23, 2005

Today's Reading: #521 - "Santa Claus"

Premiere Oration: Christmas Eve of Nineteenninetythree! (Happy 12th Anniversary, Scripture!)

Opening Prayer: In a caroling attempt, Mike inadvertantly burns Crow with scalding hot cocoa. (Crow's eyes fall out of his head and land PERECTLY on the bride deck!)

First Reading: Present time on the SOL and Deep 13! TV's Frank shaves his head and buys Dr F. a watch fob. (He didn't sell his hair, he just shaved it for some reason.) Mike gives Crow a Steve Alaimo album [You may remember him as the Superwimp "hero"/singer from Scripture #207 - "WIld Rebels"], Crow gives Servo the 1991 Drug IV Handbook, which Servo LOVES (WHY?), Gypsy knitted Mike a "Joike" sweater, Servo gave Gypsy some underwear in a candy cane, and of course, Crow got Servo a dreidel!

Second Reading: Rock band Santa Klaws performs "Whispering Christmas Warrior". Nice flashpots.

Third Reading: The bots arrange a Nelson family reunion. It's A Nelson, but not THE Nelsons. Love the Motley Crue T-Shirt.

Fourth Reading: It's the all-inclusive politically correct holiday song: "Merry Christmas...If That's Okay". [I stole this song for a 9th grade holiday poem writing assignment, got an A. I'm sorry, BBI!]

Closing Prayer: A Christmas miracle! Snow outside the SOL! Pitch pays a visit to Deep 13 (LEading to Mike Nelson's favorite MST3K line "More pie, Man-Goat?), then Santa shows up, and he and Pitch fight! (The line "I came to eat candy canes and kick ass! And I'm all out of candy canes!" Is an altered lift of the Roddy Piper line "I came to kick some ass and chew some gum, and I'm all out of gum!" from "They Live".)

Recessional: Creepy laughing wind-up reindeer creep us all out!

Consider This: For whatever reason, this IS my favorite MST Scripture of all time. I can watch it again and again, even in the middle of July! The movie itself is just insane enough to work on its own merits, and Mike and the Bots offer great riffs with almost no klunkers. Merry Christmas, everyone!


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