The Saint Joel Hodgson Church of MST3K

A place to meet and enjoy the love that Saint Joel Hodgson and his offspring, Mystery Science Theater 3000, have brought to all of us personally. Bring your friends. Come for the eternal damnation, stay for the pie.

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Location: Graceville, Minnesota, United States

I am the founder of the Saint Joel Hodgson Church of MST3K. It is totally my own creation and does not represent the views of Joel Hodgson, Best Brains Incorporated, or anyone involved with the show in any way. We are NOT a cult. There are no loyalty oaths, secret handshakes, or virgin blood sacrifices. At NO time will I EVER ask ANY of you for money. Tape traders are more than welcome.

Sunday, January 16, 2005

Today's Reading: #704 - The Incredible Melting Man

Premiere Oration: The Twentyfourth of February, Nineteenhundredninetysix

Opening Prayer: Playing a little hardball on the SOL.

First Reading: Crow's "Earth vs. Soup" screenplay is being made into a movie, with Dr. F. and Pearl in charge. Out of the $7 million budget, crow gets $800 to shoot it.

Second Reading: Dr. F. and Pearl hop aboard the SOL for a script conference, which goes nowhere.

Third Reading: Crow plays pretentious director, Mike is Kevin Bacon, and Gypsy is Sweet Marie. Before Mike can get half a sentence out, it's a wrap!

Fourth Reading: Dr. F. is the leader of a focus group. While some liked the plot, others found it too short. Gary would rather have a sandwich, HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Closing prayer: Crow's movie is going to be released!...as a trailer, with his name off it. Dr. F. drinks a LOT of water.

Recessional: Horny old lady: "Let's get the hell out of here!"

Consider This: The Readings of this scripture reflect the feelings that BBI went through while trying to get Mystery Science Theater 3000 on the big screen. Simply put, BBI made MST3K one way, and the studio wanted them to make it another way, and any other way is the WRONG way! The studio wanted to give MST3K universal appeal (no pun intended), but what the studio fails to see is that, hard as it may be to believe, MST3K does NOT appeal to everybody, and if you try to make it to appeal to everybody, all you do is alienate those who were appealed to it in the first place! The 14-year-old Valley Girl will not like MST3K, and there's nothing you can do to it to make her like it! It gets me all pissed off just thinking about it all, so I'll end the lesson here.

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