The Saint Joel Hodgson Church of MST3K

A place to meet and enjoy the love that Saint Joel Hodgson and his offspring, Mystery Science Theater 3000, have brought to all of us personally. Bring your friends. Come for the eternal damnation, stay for the pie.

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Location: Graceville, Minnesota, United States

I am the founder of the Saint Joel Hodgson Church of MST3K. It is totally my own creation and does not represent the views of Joel Hodgson, Best Brains Incorporated, or anyone involved with the show in any way. We are NOT a cult. There are no loyalty oaths, secret handshakes, or virgin blood sacrifices. At NO time will I EVER ask ANY of you for money. Tape traders are more than welcome.

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Greetings!

My fellow Subgenii, MST3K fans, Bowlers, and all the other Freaks and/or Geeks out there:

WELCOME!

Here at the Saint Joel Hodgson Church of MST3K, we cater to all races, creeds, colors, sexual orientations, mental deficencies, physical abnormalities, bad haircuts, smokers and non-smokers, as we all come together and realize the one thing that unites us all:
Mystery Science Theater 3000
(Mystery Science Theater 3000, MST3K, and all related materials copyrighted by Best Brains Incorporated {BBI}. This website is the design of The Rev. Joel Kazoo - AAS, and in no way represents or implies to represent the views of BBI, its shareholders, or parent companies. And if you're reading this, Joel Hodgson, it's all ajoke, you should really just relax.)

Worship services are held vicariously every Saturday at 4pm and 10pm. It's very simple to participate:
1. You MUST have a TV, VCR, and respective "scripture" tape.
2. Evbery Saturday at 4 and/or 10, pop in your chosen Scripture, have some Ovaltine and Popcorn (or whatever you wish to eat and/or drink, or nothing at all), sit back, relax, and enjoy!
3. Be Kind, Rewind (Unless there's more than one Scripture on your tape, you may wish to leave it to watch next time!)

(While people are encouraged to choose their own scriptures, it's recommended to evenly go through the various incarnations on a weekly basis, started at the beginning, ending at the end, and repeat.)

Example:
Week One: The Oldest Testamnet (K00-K21)
Week Two: The Older Testament (101-113)
Week Three: The Old Testament (201-512)
Week Four: The New Testament (513-624)
Week Five: The Newer Testament (701T-706)
Week Six: The Newest Testament (801-1013)
Week Seven: See Week One
And so on and so on.

The Saint Joel Hodgson Church of MST3K's Holy Days of Obligation:
November 24th: MST3K's Birth (Pick your favorite ep.)
The MST3K Three-Day feast of Turkey: Midnight Wednesday before Thanksgiving-6am Friday After Thanksgiving (Keep the tapes rolling throughout, in recognition of 1st Turkey Day Marathon format)
April 19th: MST3K: The Movie's Birth (Watch MST3K:TM, Midnight Mass preferred)
December 25th: Life Day (Watch Santa Claus or Santa Claus Conquers the Martians)
February 20th: Joel Hodgson's Birthday (Holiest Holy Day: Play Mystery Date and Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots. Make Creeple People. Eat green grapes. Watch The TV Wheel, if you got it, or just watch some old Joel Stand-Up tapes.)

But always remember: The Saint Joel Hodgson Church of MST3K is not about rituals and tradition. As our beloved MST3K creator mused: "It's just a show, [you] should really just relax!" As such, there is no WRONG way to celebrate your personal love of the program. Just do what you want, when you want, and wave your freak flag high!

See you next time when Mr. Bill moves into his new apartment. Bye-Bye!

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